Want You
by kamihanazono
Summary: How he felt for him could be summed up to "I want you" and "I can't hold back anymore". RoChu RussiaxChina


I want him.

Its that simple.

I want him so bad.

I want to feel power over him. I want him to come to me when he needs someone, I want him to tell me his troubles, I want him to tell me his dreams, I want him to visit me out of the blue, I want him to need me, I want him to love me.

But mostly, I just want him to want me this way too.

I know we've been through a lot together, and I know how things are between us. War after war, we've been through, and yet, I still can't let him go. I can see him try to push me away at times, try to walk on his own two feet by himself for once. But I keep holding on, refusing to let him go. Sometimes I try to figure out why he wants to get away from me so badly. I would always ask the others in the Allied Forces if they knew why. But only England ever really had a response.

"_He's scared of you, obviously_," England said outwardly. I felt my heart stop at that statement. But then a gentle smile graced his face. "_But I'm sure its not just because you're you. Yao forgave you a long time ago for all the bloodshed. Maybe you should try to ask him why he's so scared now_."

I had never known England could be knowing. He never really had luck in the field of this matter. You could just watch him stare at America through the World Confrence meetings and know just how pathetic he was.

But I'm still not sure. I'm too scared to confront him; scared he'll push me away, saying theres nothing wrong. Say he's fine, that England is lying, or whatever nonsense he can spill just as long as he gets away from me.

But I know something is up. He can hate me, he can be scared of me, he can never want to be near me again--I just want him to understand how I feel.

So maybe thats why I'm here at his front door, having traveled all day just to reach him now at three in the morning. Maybe thats why I'm ringing his doorbell and hoping he'll answer. Maybe thats why my breath catches when I hear a weak voice tell me he's coming. And maybe thats why I stop breathing altogether when I see his sleep-deprived self open the door with tired eyes.

"I...Ivan?" My name sounds so beautiful on his toungue; as if he were meant to be the one to say it.

"Hello...Yao." My throat feels tight, and it shows in my voice, making my accent all the more thick.

He blinks and rubs his eyes, his hand still resting on the doorknob, as if debating on if he should close the door or not. I try to gulp down the lump in my throat.

"C-Can I come in, Yao?" My palms sweat as he seems to think this over.

"Oh, sure aru. Come on in."

"Th-Thanks.."

He retreats back into his house, and plopped down on a rather large cushion on the floor. I stepped in after, shutting the door behind. I instantly felt a shiver run up and down my back at the soothing contrast of the warm home to the cold outdoors. I turned the corner to see that he was stretched on the cushion now, legs dangling over as he leaned back and stared at me from across the room. Slowly, I felt the innocent warmth turn into a scortching heat that began in the pit of my stomache and spread to my face, heating my neck and cheeks.

His nightrobe was hanging loosely off his shoulder, parted off to both sides to reveil his smooth porcelain chest. I felt my own chest throb at the sight. How could someone so gorgeus not notice his own beauty? Countless times I have told him he was pretty, and he would flush and angrily deny that he was anything that feminine. But I always kept reminding him he was beautiful, even when he would occaisonally punch me in the arm for doing so. I was snapped back to reality when I realized he was calling my name.

"--van? Ivan? You okay over there aru?" I looked back at him to see he was sitting up now, that white robe slowly slipping lower so agonizingly...

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine Yao."

"Okay then, now come sit over here aru." He patted the space on the cushion next to him. I felt my cheeks grow even hotter.

"Why?" I didn't mean for it to sound so weak; it just came out that way. But instead of scolding me for sounding so girly, he smiled at me through the dimly candle lit room.

"Because I can tell you want to talk to me about something. You wouldn't have traveled all the way out here for something else, no aru?"

"I-I.."

"Thats what I thought," His gentle smile tweaked up into a small smirk. "Now, sit aru."

I swallowed and began tredding my way over to him, carefull to avoid the small tables that seemed to randomly be placed about. As soon as I was close enough, I plopped down onto the cushion, snuggily sinking into it next to him. Hoping my cheeks weren't as red anymore, I chanced a glance at him to see he was staring straight at me with lightly tinted cheeks as well. His gaze was warm and inviting in the glow of the candles, and I nearly lost myself right then and there when he smiled again.

"So...what'dju wanna talk about aru?" He sat with his legs pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped securely around his knees, his head cocked adorably to the side. I felt something shoot down my spine and between my legs. I gave a hushed shriek and quickly squeezed my thighs together before he could notice. He stared at me strangly for a second.

"U-Um, I wanted to talk to you..." I gulped nervously. "About us."

"Us?" An innocence I didn't know he possessed flooded his features.

"Yeah..." I smiled shyly, my throat clenching. "Us."

"What about us aru? Is there something going on between us aru?" I shook my head.

"N-No, I wanted to suggest something that could..._happen_ between us." I managed to force out. He blinked.

"Hmm? Well, what is it you want to happen?" I felt the blood rush inside me again. That face, those eyes, that pose, that smile...

I couldn't hold back anymore.

"Yao..." I grabbed his shoulders, shoving him down onto the cushion and climbed on top, straddling his feminine waist. His face flushed a lovely shade of red in the low light, and soon flushed crimson when I accidently ground our hips together. I leaned down far enough so that I could feel his hot breath fan over my face in quick pants.

"Ivan...what are you doing aru?" I felt my pants tighten around me at the timid expression he wore.

"Yao...please forgive me..." I leaned down further, coming closer and closer... "I just can't...hold back any longer."

"Iva--mmnph!" I cut him off by smashing my lips down against his. A sudden fevery drunk feeling washed over me, and I could barely keep myself up. My arms had gone limp, my legs numb, and my head buzzed in excitement. I pushed against him further, attempting to mold myself into him, wanting to feel every inch of that body against me. I treaded my hands shakily through his silky raven amber locks, pulling him closer.

Then I realized he wasn't responding. I pulled away reluctantly, and saw his eyes were squeezed shut, but opened slowly when he noticed I wasn't kissing him any longer. He reached a hand up and brushed a finger against his bottom lip.

"Ivan..." His voice was quivering and...lustful? I shuddered internally. "Why?"

"I love you," My voice cracked, my eyes suddenly burning. "I love you so much, a-and I want you, and need you, and I j-just can't be without you, Yao!" His eyes bulged wide, and I began to feel hot trails of water course down my cheeks. I furiously wiped at my face, not wanting him to see me so weak.

"I just can't hold...myself back anymore!" I threw myself back at him, landing with a dull thud into the cushion, compressing it even more. I grabbed his wrists and held them over his head, efficiently pinning him down. He stared at me through thick lashes, his gaze frightened for a moment longer before it slowly faded into a calm understanding look. I gasped when I felt him press his body up against mine, my own shivering at the close contact.

"Then...take me."

I felt my heart stop in my chest.

Did I hear him right?

"Yao...?"

"Take me then. Because I..." He gave me the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. "...love you too."

This time I didn't hesitate when I felt my heart stop and my breath catch in my throat.

I slipped my arms under his neck and the back of his knees, managing to hold him bridal-style, and jumped up, running to the end of the hall where I knew he bedroom was.

And lets just say, that door didn't open again for another few days.

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**LOL**

**This was suppose to turn into a lemon...but I chickened out. xD**

**Lawl, I are such a wuss. **

**My first Hetalia fanfic btw! :'D**

**Its RussiaxChina...cuz my brain is too dead to try and think up some USUK.**

**Maybe I should try Franada...or Giripan...**

**lol idk yet.**

**Reviews make me happy, and encouraged! 8D**

**-Kami**


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